Marty Party

Marty Kays, AKA Marty Party, AKA CROSSPHYRE is a west coast dude who loves the simple things in life: drinking some frosty brews, cool tattoos, and rock and roll music. His online profiles claim that he has spent most of his life as a professional studio drummer and has toured the country many times over. Should probably be a pretty solid percussionist then, huh? Let's take a look at him struggle to play an incorrect beat over Kiss' "Love Gun".



Ok. Let's now take a look at him tackling the intricate percussive prowess of Alex Van Halen. Make sure to watch this entire video because the bridge to the song is some of the most advanced shit I've ever seen:



I find it very hard to believe that this guy has made a career out of this. I mean, Peter Criss and Alex Van Halen are, in the words of our Commander in Cheif, the Special Olympics of rock and roll. I've gone on to find some of Marty Party's social networking profiles, and some of his personal info and pictures are truly hilarious, but I'm here to talk about his drumming techniques, not post photos of him pounding Miller Lites in front of his webcam.

If you truly want to get the know more about the man himself, check out this exclusive interview he posted up on his YouTube channel (where you can also find over 50 more of his drumming videos. If you're lucky enough, you might stumble across one where he is playing a song with his pet parrot on his shoulder).



Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with your sound card or internet connection. This interview just has no sound. Even though a number of his "fans" have commented on the video letting him know that the sound doesn't work, we're yet to get a corrected version up. Damn dude.

For more videos, click HERE.

Also, you readers may have noticed that while Nick and Mike post awesome drawing on here all the time, I don't. Well, thats because I can't draw. But over the course of this weekend, I finally made a few drawings and Nick is currently scanning them, so those will be up soon. Hopefully you'll be as shocked, appauled, and amused as some of our freinds were.

the cap on my orange juice looks like the tip of a dick

sex sells and i'm buying.

Tales From The Couch Vol. 5

Psychic Subway

Where they know what you want before you order it, and it's still wrong anyway.

Tales From The Couch Vol. 4

Some drawings of my hero, Cap'n Crunch, and LORD DOGLORD, a pointlessly christian warrior of my own creation for the world of the basement dwelling mouthbreather game WEREWOLF: THE APOCALYPSE.


It's abstract humor.


Knockers playing soccer, and a kid gets a little too worked up when the other kid he's playing freeze tag has a different way to pronounce the safe zone.


You just don't mess with a man's car, man. You just don't.

Tomorrow

There's about 30 different flyers for this, and I believe this to be the best one. You can see a lot of people with a lot of interesting things to say and in addition to that, I will also be speaking.

It's a bar, it's a Friday, it's a good idea!

More Upsetting Shit on The Internet

A few posts back, I talked about how the Internet will never run out of terrible things for the average American to be disgusted with. Today's example is prime. This is a blogger, known only as "The Dead Baby". All the information he gives about himself is a short bio, which reads, um, "you gotta let a ho be a ho" (sic).

What makes The Dead Baby so unique? The Dead Baby has a fascination with pissing on perfectly good rolls of toilet paper in public bathrooms. Check out the depravity at his blog. Click on the emoticon dick to get there: *~~~~~~~<=======8

I feel like this is the kind of guy your parents warn you about when you reach the age where you start to realize what a sexual predator is. What may be even more unsettling are the comments people leave. They range from anywhere between a "LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, MAN" all the way to far more disapproving statements, like this little gem that I handpicked and am posting here verbatim, "I know not even a nigger would waste his time wetting toilet rolls."

Well folks, enjoy the rest of your day feeling extreme disappointment with humanity.