stuff about drugs

Luca

Here's a picture I found on Luca's flickr account. It's a picture of him being fed by his little sister, while they're both clearly wasted. I love this picture and felt it should probably be posted on hot food. You know, give the audience a face to go with all those posts about youtube.

MrChiCity is still funny.

Many of YouTube's brightest stars burn out rather quickly. The Sexman, for example, was once one of the most entertaining people on the Internet. But over the course of this past year, he's gotten less and less funny, charming, and interesting. My personal favorite YouTuber, Sodahead, closed down his account out of nowhere. But somehow, MrChiCity has been cranking out the hits for OVER A YEAR. This guy's got the cyber-shelf life of a Twinkie. For your enjoyment, his newest video, titled, "A Brother On The Floor":

tweaked arms for everyone

My old roommate (Luca's current) MJ once described a certain type of ass as "slappy." I drew this to see if it's what he was talking about and he didn't think it truly represented the image in his head. He was into the huge cans though.
This however was more on point.
I see this guy almost everyday on my way home from work. I've also seen his dick before.

happy 420

HUMP DAY.

Lily Allen Show Review

My sister wound up with an extra ticket to Sunday night's Lily Allen show at The Riv. I'm not going to beat around the bush: I like Lily Allen. A lot. Sure, I'll join you.

The opening band was the type of thing that made me hate music. They not only made me hate music, they made me hate everything and everyone I've ever known.

The band is called, brace yourself, Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, and they produce some of the lamest shit that I've ever seen somehow pass itself off as music. Here's an example of this shit in action. This video is only 90 seconds long, and finishing it is going to be a real challenge:


natalie portman's shaved head - sophisticated side ponytail from thatgo on Vimeo.

Ick. Gross. When you base band membership on good looks and cool haircuts, you get Natalie Portman's Shaved Head. And Natalie Portman's Shaved Head is the musical equivalent of dog vomit. Not a good look.

Lily Allen's set was pretty good. She looked totally foxy, too. For the encore she came out in a t-shirt and jeans, and she looked kind of dumpy and tom-boyish and that, my friends, is what boners are made of.

The highlight of the night actually happened after the set. I met up with Lily and her crew at Nick's Beer Garden for a few post-show cocktails. The two of us then went back to my apartment, where, over a couple of cans of Miller High Life, I dazzled and impressed her with my near-mint copy of Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Works" and then moved on to making her feel like a woman all night long.

I'm totally lying, that never happened. I just went home and wrote this. Happy Easter.

MORE YOUTUBE GOLD.

I've always considered myself one of the finest YouTube gold diggers out there. I've always been able to somehow stumble across the weirdest shit out there. But there is one person I know who is far better at it than I am. It's our good buddy Ryan Winke. I think this stems from the fact that he has even more free time on his hands than I do. Because it's been a slow week, here's one of Ryan's personal favorites:



The music makes it feel like you're watching Terminator 2 or something.

tony wetzig

"me killing myself and lighting my moms house on fire"

BANDS I LIKED IN 1998

one bad dog

one bad dog. the ripley mcwilson story

pig for sale

Blood Death

when mike and I shared a flat

Marty Party

Marty Kays, AKA Marty Party, AKA CROSSPHYRE is a west coast dude who loves the simple things in life: drinking some frosty brews, cool tattoos, and rock and roll music. His online profiles claim that he has spent most of his life as a professional studio drummer and has toured the country many times over. Should probably be a pretty solid percussionist then, huh? Let's take a look at him struggle to play an incorrect beat over Kiss' "Love Gun".



Ok. Let's now take a look at him tackling the intricate percussive prowess of Alex Van Halen. Make sure to watch this entire video because the bridge to the song is some of the most advanced shit I've ever seen:



I find it very hard to believe that this guy has made a career out of this. I mean, Peter Criss and Alex Van Halen are, in the words of our Commander in Cheif, the Special Olympics of rock and roll. I've gone on to find some of Marty Party's social networking profiles, and some of his personal info and pictures are truly hilarious, but I'm here to talk about his drumming techniques, not post photos of him pounding Miller Lites in front of his webcam.

If you truly want to get the know more about the man himself, check out this exclusive interview he posted up on his YouTube channel (where you can also find over 50 more of his drumming videos. If you're lucky enough, you might stumble across one where he is playing a song with his pet parrot on his shoulder).



Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with your sound card or internet connection. This interview just has no sound. Even though a number of his "fans" have commented on the video letting him know that the sound doesn't work, we're yet to get a corrected version up. Damn dude.

For more videos, click HERE.

Also, you readers may have noticed that while Nick and Mike post awesome drawing on here all the time, I don't. Well, thats because I can't draw. But over the course of this weekend, I finally made a few drawings and Nick is currently scanning them, so those will be up soon. Hopefully you'll be as shocked, appauled, and amused as some of our freinds were.

the cap on my orange juice looks like the tip of a dick

sex sells and i'm buying.

Tales From The Couch Vol. 5

Psychic Subway

Where they know what you want before you order it, and it's still wrong anyway.

Tales From The Couch Vol. 4

Some drawings of my hero, Cap'n Crunch, and LORD DOGLORD, a pointlessly christian warrior of my own creation for the world of the basement dwelling mouthbreather game WEREWOLF: THE APOCALYPSE.


It's abstract humor.


Knockers playing soccer, and a kid gets a little too worked up when the other kid he's playing freeze tag has a different way to pronounce the safe zone.


You just don't mess with a man's car, man. You just don't.

Tomorrow

There's about 30 different flyers for this, and I believe this to be the best one. You can see a lot of people with a lot of interesting things to say and in addition to that, I will also be speaking.

It's a bar, it's a Friday, it's a good idea!

More Upsetting Shit on The Internet

A few posts back, I talked about how the Internet will never run out of terrible things for the average American to be disgusted with. Today's example is prime. This is a blogger, known only as "The Dead Baby". All the information he gives about himself is a short bio, which reads, um, "you gotta let a ho be a ho" (sic).

What makes The Dead Baby so unique? The Dead Baby has a fascination with pissing on perfectly good rolls of toilet paper in public bathrooms. Check out the depravity at his blog. Click on the emoticon dick to get there: *~~~~~~~<=======8

I feel like this is the kind of guy your parents warn you about when you reach the age where you start to realize what a sexual predator is. What may be even more unsettling are the comments people leave. They range from anywhere between a "LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, MAN" all the way to far more disapproving statements, like this little gem that I handpicked and am posting here verbatim, "I know not even a nigger would waste his time wetting toilet rolls."

Well folks, enjoy the rest of your day feeling extreme disappointment with humanity.