Hey, Back from Kentucky. Fun times but nothing too interesting to report (aside from some celebrity stories I heard from my Dad's cousin but I don't dare repeat them here.) Instead I'm posting to review two products that I didn't know were still on the market that I saw on the road.
First up, A&W Root Beer Float Soda. When I first saw this product it was displayed next to the other float soda the company decided to make, Sunkist Orange Cream Soda. Dog 'n Suds has been making orange cream soda forever and it is mindblowing. I figured it was about time someone else finally got on board with this idea. And apply the same concept to root beer? Genius!
...That is, until I bought one.
It comes in a glass bottle, there is a pleasant ambiance to that for me. You can't actually see the product, the lable completely covers the bottle. I get home, crack it open and take a swig. I didn't quite spit it out in my surprise and disgust when I found out this product's horrible secret. My eyes bulged as the expression on my face went from excitement to queasy terror and I swallowed it before coughing and moving my mouth around like a dog who got into something unexpectedly gross while digging through the garbage. Gross even by dog standards.
THERE IS MILK IN THIS SHIT. It is not just a regular soda with the flavor of vanilla ice cream like you would naturally assume, and NOWHERE on the package does it say that they're going to trick you like this by putting MILK, YES... MILK together with pop!
"But Mike, What about French Soda?" You got me there, apparently french people love to put milk in their pop for some reason. But when you order this at a coffee shop or something you know what you're getting. Nobody is tricking you into ordering what you would assume to be a normal bottle of Root Beer and SPIKING IT WITH MILK. But really it isn't just milk. It's supposed to simulate the ice cream part of the float. You know when you're done with a great, intensely satisfying root beer float and you're left with the residue on the side of the glass that kind of pools up into a little bit of sludge at the bottom? This is an entire bottle of that, basically. But that is still giving this garbage too much credit. Flat root beer and vanilla flavored milk. It's giving me a stomach ache just thinking about it.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
1 comment:
I went to the corner store across the street from my house one morning after a long night of drinking (I'm pretty sure you were there). I grabbed one of these, thinking it would be the cool, refreshing, bubby hangover relief most soda pop is. BOY WAS I WRONG!
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