As you can see

I did indeed find something better to do. I read two issues of HUMANBEING LAWNMOWER, drank two Red Bull Colas, ate 2 vegetarian "hot dogs", drank two bottles of Peak Organic Espresso Amber Ale, bought toilet paper, peanut butter cap'n crunch, and cigarettes, took a dump, read the FART PARTY COMICS book, went with Meg to get our bikes cuz we foolishly left them at the bar last night, smoked a bowl, ate more "hot dogs", and... well that's it. So There ya have it. Suck on that!

-Mike Popinski

SUM FLYERS I DONE MADE BEFORE

Hey fruitcakes! Got the day off today and I thought I'd scan some of my shit to post here starting with some show flyers I've made. I'm posting the ones I've already scanned first in case I find something actually fun to do and give up. Click on 'em to see the full size, tardo.



I am quite proud of this flyer. Quite proud indeed. Plus it got me and Nigel Rowdy Jackson into the show for free so that's not bad either! Even though every band except the Meatmen sucked.



The flyer for what was SUPPOSED to be the release party for HOT FOOD #1 except for two things. 1.) I wasn't there, I was out of town at a wedding I barely got drunk at. 2.) I never printed the zines beforehand. I drew this flyer at work. No offense to skinheads or heshers.



Meg's favorite thing I have ever drawn. This was the actual release party, it was a pretty good time.



We celebrated Valentine's Day a day late last year. According to Darius and a few other witnesses, one of the two young ladies in the band BARREN were displeased with the "graphic depiction" on this flyer. Why is anybody's guess. Who cares. I asked them about it and they wouldn't own up to it. Chronic Seizure covered Bikini Kill at this show.



This dork I used to work with named Steve (I think?) became a bartender at Cobra Lounge. He talked some shit about us at this show and I told him to fuck off before we left, boo hoo :( :( :( :(



Remember when this sort of hot nutcase was a pussy hair away from running this country?


I fucking hate Mike Love. Nobody I work with "got" this flyer, a lot of them are in bands too. What kind of bands don't know about the Beach Boys? REALLY shitty ones. You can see how lazy I was only drawing their heads. Sorry about that. There are a very limited number of giant posters of this. If you want one let me know.

-Mike Popinski

The RedEye is a piece of shit newspaper.

Popinski here. Fuck you. I'm going to watch T.V. something about Hookers For Jesus is on. Here's a blog entry I wrote. You're welcome.

The RedEye is the most read "newspaper" in Chicago. It's half written in internet jargon and the other half are buzzwords.

Someone the other day was reading this near me and the entire page was dedicated to the watchmen movie, with Dr. Manhattan (the naked blue guy on every bus and billboard in the city) with his dick covered up by the words "FULL FRONTAL DUDITY"

I was going to say I can't believe they thought this was clever enough to print, but then I realized I can believe it. What I can't believe is that 90% of the people who saw that thought it was FUCKING HILARIOUS.

Idiocracy is coming true and it's the people you work with who quote it around the office (to shake it up when Flight Of The Conchords lyrics need a break for a breath or two) who are bringing it to you. I mean I wish The Onion A.V. Club wasn't so smug and trying really hard to be, at that. But when the RedEye tries to be hip it's so fucking pathetic it makes you cringe, like when you see really old guys trying to dress in current fashions intended for teenagers walking around in the Gold Coast. It's like, dude. You're balding. You can't do that with your hair.

As it happens, I have found the original first draft of the article in question! I will repost it here for you all to enjoy!

FULL FRUNTAL DUDITY

"I thought this was a great movie until I saw all them DICKS! YUCK! It had BADASS superheros and a HOT fucken dirty little slut. Shit. My friend Bobby tol me the same guy made this movie that made that other comic book movie. Whats it called... Three-Hunnert. You know, that one movie with all those totally RIPPED dudes fighting each other! Bobby told me I was a real faget for liking that movie. He's like, "Only a real faget would like THAT movie!" and I was all "No way! Only a real faget wouldn't like that movie!" Well, it looks like Bobby was right. That movie musta been gay after all! Hollywood needs to start learning to stop tricking reg-lur strait guys like me and you into seeing queerbo movies like this by making them seem so fucken' badass in the preview and then you get there and it's this brokeback shit."

Invigorating!

Hi, my name is Luca

Here I am, reentering the "blogosphere" as you internet-savvy types would call it. I have incredibly high hopes for "Hot Food: The Online Version". I'll make my first post cohesive with Mike's prior ones. Here is an MS Paint drawing I made of myself sometime back in 2005 when I worked at an Office Depot AKA the worst time period of my life. Enjoy.

LIVE BOOTLEGS

THE STOOGES - 10/6/73
http://www.mediafire.com/?q0mdj0mnjno

This is a recording from the final STOOGES tour, it shows the band a few months before the recordings that make up the METALLIC K.O./2xK.O. record(s)

THE ACCUSED - Netherlands 11/26/88
http://www.mediafire.com/?smeo1mzmhmd

ARTIFICIAL PEACE - D.C. Wilson Centre 9/21/81
http://www.mediafire.com/?433dnemjyzd

BAD BRAINS - Whiskey A Go-Go 3/25/82
http://www.mediafire.com/?jiue95jlzxz

BATTALION OF SAINTS - Bob's Place 6/11/82
http://www.mediafire.com/?mdzvmjy9mty

BEASTIE BOYS - CBGB'S 1982
http://www.mediafire.com/?ocvzdpwmmjt

BLACK FLAG - North Park Lion's Club 1981
http://www.mediafire.com/?2xn11t0mcow

BLACK SABBATH - California Jam 6/4/74
http://www.mediafire.com/?jieyljytmmc

CIRCLE JERKS - D.C. 930 Club 6/11/81
http://www.mediafire.com/?bdmyymxit1m

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY - D.C. Wilson Centre 5/1/85
http://www.mediafire.com/?djjl9zxecpv

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY - San Diego 1/25/86
http://www.mediafire.com/?13pkjtjccn2

CRO-MAGS - CA Ruthie's Inn 1986
http://www.mediafire.com/?wi332edtydk

CRO-MAGS - CBGB'S 7/5/86
http://www.mediafire.com/?zyjnz4z1ysy

D.R.I. - Dominick's Norfolk, VA 8/23/84
http://www.mediafire.com/?einzdewdevy

D.R.I. - N.Y. Ritz 6/27/87
http://www.mediafire.com/?gmjzbke1kjd

DAG NASTY - Brighton Bar (year unknown)
http://www.mediafire.com/?gnymoxzizmm

DEAD KENNEDYS - Portland 11/19/79
http://www.mediafire.com/?ndzy4ypnyx9

DISCHARGE - Lepakko 4/25/83
http://www.mediafire.com/?mzh1imzuzzm

Exodus - 1982 (w/ Kirk Hammet)
http://www.mediafire.com/?cxaidhmx1zt

Elvis Costello - D.C. 1979
http://www.mediafire.com/?tq4jnmnixzd

FUGAZI - D.C. Wilson Centre (alleged first show)
http://www.mediafire.com/?jyxyi0oy29o

GORILLA BISCUITS - D.C. Safari Club 1989
http://www.mediafire.com/?mlagqicyddi

HIRAX - 12/31/84
http://www.mediafire.com/?ybm0ndzobmz

MINOR THREAT - D.C. Space 10/19/80 (second show)
http://www.mediafire.com/?nsmbd4tbgxe

MISFITS - Whiskey A Go-Go 1982
http://www.mediafire.com/?nlz9s0yyy5c

MOTORHEAD - Birmingham 1977
http://www.mediafire.com/?zpnwbrmlfvs

NAKED RAYGUN - D.C. WUST 6/20/85
http://www.mediafire.com/?y1dm0x0jzxp

RAMONES - N.Y.C. 1976
http://www.mediafire.com/?lmvfgyuoojn

REAGAN YOUTH - CBGB's 1985
http://www.mediafire.com/?jtrhnj3vizb

SAMHAIN - 85/86?
http://www.mediafire.com/?1t91jlvjyci

SICK OF IT ALL - 3/22/87
http://www.mediafire.com/?n9xdydljyxd

SLAYER - Birmingham 4/19/87
http://www.mediafire.com/?jyumdbigdye

VOID - D.C. 930 Club 2/13/83
http://www.mediafire.com/?i3lyjdy2xmj

YDL - CBGB's 1987
http://www.mediafire.com/?21y4ma1lyzd

YOUTH OF TODAY - Toronto 8/15/86
http://www.mediafire.com/?ynlzjvxjnnz

enjoy!

FIRST MEGADETH SHOW BOOTLEG (feat. KERRY KING!)

MEGADETH rules. Dave Mustaine is a total pussy but I do not hold that against him, that's totally his problem. That dude has burned so many bridges that the legacy of Megadeth will eternally suffer... But we know better right? MEGADETH is great and this show boasts a lineup still featuring KERRY MOTHERFUCKING KING. This is their first show ever, taking place in Berkeley, CA in 1984!

http://www.mediafire.com/?n4pn4y09zme


Kerry King playing with the 'Deth

Show Review 10/6 @ Empty Bottle: CHINESE STARS

More than a few years ago, I saw the band ARAB ON RADAR on not one, but two separate occasions. I liked them enough to buy their t-shirt! (and for wearing that shirt, i was called out for supporting racism by a crust punk at Tony Pointless' house. No joke.) Anyway, I have probably worn that shirt inside out a lot of times since the last time I listened to them and I've never heard a whole Chinese Stars album but Luca Ferrari likes them a lot. They sound to me like I remember Arab on Radar sounding but instead of weird or in any way interesting drum beats, it's only one disco sounding drum beat the entire time. The singer still pretends to be retarded, I have to say I do not care for this music very much.

But a free Monday show at the Empty Bottle doesn't have to offer much to get me to come out as long as I know people there, and the same people invited me out to the last free Monday at that same bar where Chicago's own COUGARS were playing. I couldn't tell the difference between the two bands really except that the singer of Cougars looks like Matthew McConaughey, people told me this band sounded like ROCKET FROM THE CRYPT before they sounded like Chinese Stars, I kinda doubt it. Although literally anything would sound better than the 3rd wave ska circus music those guys used to make... but I digress....

I didn't make it to the end of the Chinese Stars set, I ran out of money and walked home. Before they played some other annoying band played who's name I never got. I arrived during their set and boy did they suck. The singer of this band was wearing a red glittery unitard and a head dress with feathers in it and a lot of glittery make up, but everyone else was just wearing normal clothes. I imagine the rest of the band secretly wondering amongst themselves when the singer would get the hint they didn't want to dress up anymore. It turns out the singer was a girl, I thought it was a guy the whole time, I guess that makes sense.

If this show was a high school kid and I were his principal, I would quit my job.